Drink and be Mary

Recently, not surprisingly, the most frequent question I have been asked is "How is the job hunt going?" I'm sure that question springs from a variety of places; curiosity, concern, fascination, thoughtfulness, or maybe even envy. I think people are even more interested because the job market has been so tight and the media is full of horror stories about current job prospects. Now, don't get me wrong, I've been worried too. In the old days, I could sling a dead cat and hit a job that paid well and was something I was interested in. This time, it is very different. Even though I have a strong resume, there are a lot of really qualified people out there looking for work. So, the old days of getting an offer for almost every job I ever interviewed for is getting replaced by..."Well, you have a strong resume.....but" It seems that there is just a tiny something; usually a very, very specific type of experience, missing. Needless to say, even though your brain tells you it's just business, your ego takes a little hit. During these tough times, there are a few things you can do 1.) Give up or 2.) Take a bar tending class and find a part-time job slinging cocktails in a local watering hole. I went with option #2. I've always wanted to be a bartender. One of my college era regrets aside from not attending the University of Wisconsin-Madison is not getting a bar tending gig. (It always seemed fun and an excellent way to meet boys). I think I have all the necessary qualifications 1.) An outgoing personality 2.) Relatively good hand-eye coordination 3.) A 25-year love affair with all things booze related. My journey toward barkeep status was thankfully short. I took a two week bar tending class at the Milwaukee Bartending Academy which is located, naturally, in West Allis (bar on every corner...check....school for bar tending....check!) In the class, you learn a lot of alcohol facts, history, and how to make a variety of libations, including all the new popular martinis. The bar tending school has a full working bar; sinks, soda guns, all the necessary glassware etc. Of course, you practice using colored water, but other than that, the place simulates a real bar. To pass the course, you have to make 24 drinks in less than 30 minutes. Now, that might seem like a cake walk, but some drinks have many ingredients (yeah, I'm talking to you Long Island Iced Tea) have to be layered in a certain way, or, have illogical proportions. I don't know if it's all my years of drinking experience, or my history of doing well on exams, but, I killed that test! Flying colors. After you pass the class, you are required by the state to take an on-line alcohol safety class called Learn to Serve. Basically, it teaches you how recognize when someone has had too much to drink. In theory, the class was just a formality for me. After 25 years of watching drunks, and many times being one, I think I know all the signs. But, Wisco has to earn revenue somehow. After getting my L2S certificate, I needed a way to get some practical experience. As luck would have it, Peg and Russ have a friend who owns a martini lounge in Germantown. I asked Krissy, the owner, if I could work for her gratis just to get my feet wet. Kind and generous, Kris agreed without hesitation. Well, my two nights of free service translated into a regular paid Saturday night gig. As the Beatles sang "I'll get by with a little help from my friends". When I told my brothers that I was going to tend bar, they laughed out loud and said something to the effect of "Mare, you know, there is a LOT of glass-based items at bars". I wish I could have been mad, but they have a valid point. I've always been a bit of a spiller, a dropper and a breaker. The Klavier Lounge might become my Waterloo. Kris might need to rethink her decision. However, I'm happy to report that so far, I've only broken one glass and the tip jar. Who knew tossing a dollar coin into a glass jar could cause so much damage. So, if you're ever bored on a Saturday night, journey out to G-town. I'll be quick with a joke, and a light of your smoke, and you know what, right now there's no other place I'd rather be.